This morning I woke up, took the last Clearblue digital test in the box, and it said "Not Pregnant." I called the doctor and was only able to speak to a receptionist. I explained that I had been spotting since Saturday and that I was going in for a blood test today, but I wanted the doctor to know that I was worried that something was wrong. She said that she would leave the message for my doctor's nurse and she would call me back later. Thirty minutes later I started feeling intense abdominal pain and the bleeding that had been going on since Saturday got much worse. It felt like I was having one of my horrible periods, like I had in early July since getting off of birth control. My husband came home for lunch and we just talked about everything that was going on. I was very worried so I called my mom and asked her about when she was pregnant. She said that when she was pregnant with me she bled but had no cramping at all and it sounded like I was having a miscarriage.
The nurse didn't call me back until 2:30 this afternoon. When I explained that after I called them this morning I had intense, doubled-over pain and bleeding she asked if I had gone to the ER. I said no because when I normally have a period off of birth control this is what it feels like. She recommended that I go ahead and get the blood test today and then based on the results they'll know what to do next. She said that if the test comes back with HcG levels below 5 it means that I was never pregnant and that the home pregnancy tests I took were wrong. If the blood test comes back with HcG levels of 5 or greater that means one of two things, either: a) I was pregnant (and have since had a miscarriage) or b) I still am pregnant (and it is an ectopic pregnancy). If my HcG levels are at 5 or more I will need to go in for a second blood test. This second test could have one of two results: a) My HcG levels have dropped below 5 (and this means that it was a miscarriage) or b) My HcG levels have increased or doubled since the first blood test (and it is an ectopic pregnancy).
My biggest fear is that it is an ectopic pregnancy because if it is, my life could be threatenend and they will need to do a procedure to remove it. In my heart, though, I feel like I had a miscarriage. I'm so nervous for the next few days and know that having to wait for the blood test results is going to be awful. I am also very sad knowing that no matter what the end result is, there will be no baby. I feel stupid for telling our close family that we were pregnant so soon, though. I wish we would have at least waited for the blood test to come back positive. Without the support of my husband and my family I know this would be much worse. I feel lucky to have so many people in my life that love me and support me.
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